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How can I discourage a sister against Bleaching and hair removal.
Posted by: Mr B (IP Logged)
Date: November 29, 2007 11:15PM

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh,

Dear Sabgat ji,

I have a sister-in-law, who is sikhi orientated, posseses good virtues and has great pyaar and fondness for Guru Sahib and Gurmat. She is india born and raised and has been settled in the U.K. now for around 4-5 years since marrying my wifes brother. My wife and brother-in-law's whole family and circle of friends are sikhi orientated and keep alot of association with the akhand keertani jatha, attending regular rehnsabais,samagams and various other programmes. My sister-in-law also attends whenever possible. This association of Gursikhs and sangat has developed a thirst and hope in her mind to at some time in the near future give her head, and take amrit, wearing keski and following gurmat as a khalsa.

The only problem is that she is very conscious of the amount of bodily hair she has on her body, mainly her moustache, under chin and eyebrows. To tackle the problem, she currently resorts to bleaching her moustache and underchin, and plucking the eyebrows into shape. she is aware of gurmat forbidding the cutting and removal of hair and is not trying to be clever in justifying her actions. She was under the impression that perhaps bleaching was acceptable as so many singhniaan continue to practise bleaching, but I explained that this view was a misconception and that the alteration of the body from its natural form in any way was not inline with gurmat. She has explained that that if she does not pluck her eyebrows, they grow back very bushy, covering the bridge of her nose and a large part of her forehead and temples. She also explained that because she has light colour skin, if she does not bleach, the black hair will be very visible and expose what she in her own words explains as a light beard.

I know that if she carries on after taking amrit, this will seriously affect her spiritual advancement. She herself admits that deep down she knows its not right and should stop, espiecally when amritdhari. she has told me that the thought of taking amrit fills her with both joy and anxiety. This anxiety is making her mind wander and leads her to think of extreme ways to deal with her dilema such as laser electrolysis. I know of 2 amritdhaari bibiaan in the U.K. who have had electrolysis treatment(removal of hair via laser) to remove facial and arm hair prior to marriage. My sister-in-law has too admitted that this plan has crossed her mind before taking amrit. I feel that this plan has a high chance of going ahead, or at the very least plucking and bleaching will continue once she is amritdhari and wearing keski.

Although I am sympathetic to her problem, thae fact is that conformity to gurmat will reap great sukh and kurehts and bajjar kurehts like bleaching and electrolysis will never be worthy of the full blessings of Gurdev.

I am asking the Sangat jee for their views and suggestions that will help to discourage these kurehts and encourage kurbani for Guru Shibs ultimate kirpaa.

Many thanks.

 



Re: How can I discourage a sister against Bleaching and hair removal.
Posted by: kakaree (IP Logged)
Date: December 11, 2007 12:42AM

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa
Waheguru ji ki Fateh

Give her lot of love an support.
Give her positive reinforcements for any step she makes towards truth. Tell her how proud you are that she keeps her hair and how much you would love to see it in it's naturally beaautiful glory. Assure her that you will stand by her on her path of self discovery. Assure her of her lovliness with in. Make certain that whe gets opportunites to meet singhni that are showing self respect and self love in honoring their original unadulterated created form.

 



Re: How can I discourage a sister against Bleaching and hair removal.
Posted by: Harinder Singh (IP Logged)
Date: December 12, 2007 05:07AM

I agree, give her love and respect. She seems to be a good honest sikhi oriented soul. I feel the best solution to such problems is to have some naam jappan valiyaan pakkiyan daller kharrrkuu(lol) daughters of Guru Sahib make friends with her. Such a sangat can have HUGE HUGE assar on ones life and infact can completely change ones life. On the other hand, sangat of non-amritdharis or kache amritdharis will only increase her dubidha and concern for body and facial hair.
Also, husbands can play a huge role.If the husband is a bholla sauu gurmukh soul who cares,respects and loves his wife for remaining true to Satguru Jee and not doing keshan de beadbi, well... that can also completely solve the problem of the bibi.

 





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