ARCHIVED FORUM: Gurdwara Tapoban Sahib
How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : kaur
Date: 7/29/2004 10:03 pm
WJKK WJKF
I have a problem and i don't know how to solve this. I have this people in the office who are actually all muslims and they dont seems to like me much, i guess because i am a very queit person and i hardly speaks to anyone unless i have something to check or refer to.
Recently they have been passing some terrible and sarcastic remarks hinting something about me most of the time they even talk bad and i have seen them laughing at me as if i got some something on my face. I have wondered about it a few times but looks like this has been their pass time recently in order just to have fun and laugh around.They hardly do any office work. I am most of the time sticking to my pc doing work while they go around talking rubbish about me, i have heard them talking about me and laughing about it....this has really hurt me so much, it really shows that how much they hate me.
This could be due to reason that i am not a muslim and they don't feel comfortable including me into thier groups. i don't even want to if you ask me because most of the time they do nindia (about their bosses and their other friends) and nothing else.
There are only two sikhs and one hindu in my office. But i always don't get a chance to meet them as we are always so busy with our work.
I can't go out with them for lunch because i bring home food(vegetarian).
So i hardly gets a chance to spend time with them.
And most of the time when i get the time, i do my paath .
The moment they see me doing paath, they get even more excited about it, talk and start laughing louder.
I am looking for another job...hope that i can be away from these people but as long as i am here i feel very very hurt with this people.
How do you deal with this kind of species around you ?
Please give me some advice.
Thank you.
WJKK WJKF
Re: How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : Masard GanDaa Singh
Date: 7/30/2004 6:52 am
Read the shabad "Gur kaa shabad Rakhvarey" Link: http://www.sikhnet.com/GurbaniKirtan/tr_0543.html
Do it as many times as you can a day. But put a number on it in order to fix your mind. Like lets say 11 or 22 times a day for like 40 days or something. It can be any number of times or days etc. And make sure you do ardaas in front of Guru Granth Sahib and take a hukamnamaa before you start and ask for what you need. I have tried this myself that is why I know it works. Gurbani will answer all your prayers, keep the faith.
Sometimes we wonder why when we are trying to lead a good life do we encounter such idiots. Well we sometimes have actions of this and past lives that need to be paid, but bani can erase those from your karams. Have you tried talking to them or confronting them? Maybe getting some help from a senior managager. Sometimes they are just jelous of the good ones though.
Re: How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : Mehtab Singh
Date: 7/30/2004 7:27 am
waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh
1. They are egoistic and insecure men who cannot see a woman do the job better than them.
2. They are making fun of you coz you are a Sikh.
3. Do NOT leave the job and give them the feeling of victory. Stay there and show them on their face that you are better than this and them.
4. Complain to your senior/manager/boss whoever. Don't let them get away with this.
Gurujee is with you. Don't worry at all about anything.
waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh
Re: How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : another singh :)
Date: 7/30/2004 11:46 am
Phen Ji, there's a nice inspiring story on this board about how Guru Ji allways protects his Sikhs. It even has a work situation somewhat related to yours :Tests of Faith: Bhai Giaan Singh jee.
Re: How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : ns
Date: 7/30/2004 1:17 pm
waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh
Time to move on Guru Ji probably has further and better jobs out there for you, this is kind of what happened to me, but I just moveed on out into a new job and full respect , ahh the utmost respect by the people I worked with in 3 different jobs since the first one.
waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh
Re: How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : :-)
Date: 7/30/2004 2:08 pm
Well you know they're mean people, but they're weak too. That's what weak people do.. they pick on the quiet innocent person because that makes them feel tough and cool.
If they say anything to you look at them like they're crazy... like they're speaking some language you don't understand. If they give you a weird look.. like you said they laugh like you have something on their face.... look at them like they're crazy (maybe even smile like you know something about them... you do know something about them.. you know they're idiots).
You know you did nothing wrong... but you need to show them you know they're dumb.
This is what I did.. and it really helped me. I hope it works for you. I suggest you stay at the same job. If you left... think about how satisfied they would feel. That's a feeling they don't deserve to feel.
Re: How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : JSS
Date: 7/30/2004 2:46 pm
bhenji,
what type of work are you in?...we could stay on the look out for openings and let you know if anything comes our way
waheguru ji ka khalsa
waheguru ji ki fateh
Re: How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : Ravinder Singh
Date: 7/31/2004 11:34 am
Bhen ji, I also work in place where there are a lot of muslims. I don't get such a negative reaction probably because i'm a male but I do feel the hatred coming from most of them. They'll usually say 'Hi, hows it going' but its obvious that they talk behind my back becoz if one of them decides to be arrogant around me, they all copy like sheep.
I where a dumalla and walk with pride - because i know that guru ji is always with me. They don't like my presence, I guess it makes them feel insecure.
My advice to you is this,
Don't lose your 'Gunn' (not bandook! ...Qualities), stay polite and hold your head up with pride.
If they try to be funny or hurtful, stand tall and look them staight in the eye. Think carefully about the replies you give to their ignorant remarks. Make them feel like the thickheads they are.
Japp Naam with love, try your best to remember your Guru and he'll always be by your side without a doubt.
Guru Rakha
vaheguru, vaheguru, vaheguru, vaheguru, vaheguru, vaheguru, vaheguru..
Re: How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : someone
Date: 7/31/2004 1:27 pm
I have recently taken amrit and started wearing a dastaar. Everybody at work was surprised to see my new look, a lot of people ask me questions about why I do it, what it means. But with Guru sahib's grace I haven't had any negative reaction.
You should ignore the negative comments, try to keep your mann saaf, greet everyone with a smile and good wishes. In no time the negative behaviour will turn to positive.
Everyday I deal with and work with a whole lot of white men and I know that they will walk all over me if I allow them to. You must be confident and sure of yourself, ppl will automatically respect you. If you project confidence ppl will not be able to say anything negative to you. Its human tendency to pick on the weak, do not let yourself be weak. Do ardaas to Guru sahib to give you strength and self-confidence.
Re: How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : kaur
Date: 8/01/2004 8:56 pm
WJKK WJKF
It makes feel me so better after reading all your mails...i really thank you all for the good advice ..i always feel as if this people who are posting this are all my family and they care for me so much. i feel so glad and it really shows that how much Guru ji loves me.
Veerji's and Phenji's ...i just don't know how to thank you all.
Sometimes in life you can't talk this problems with your love ones because i feel shy and they will have all the headache listening to my problems. I feel so lucky to be a part of this message board , at least the hidden force of Guru Ji is always here to advice people like me.
May Guru Ji bless you all.
WJKK WJKF
Re: How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : LostPrincess
Date: 8/01/2004 9:22 pm
"Kaur" bhenji, a perfect shabad by Bhagat Kabeer Ji.
This Shabad is by Bhagat Kabeer Ji in Raag Gond on Pannaa 870
kbIr jI Gru 1
kabeer jee ghar 1
Kabeer Jee, First House:
<> siqgur pRswid ]
ik oa(n)kaar sathigur prasaadh ||
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:
sMqu imlY ikCu sunIAY khIAY ]
sa(n)th milai kishh suneeai keheeai ||
When you meet a Saint, talk to him and listen.
imlY AsMqu msit kir rhIAY ]1]
milai asa(n)th masatt kar reheeai ||1||
Meeting with an unsaintly person, just remain silent. ||1||
bwbw bolnw ikAw khIAY ]
baabaa bolanaa kiaa keheeai ||
O father, if I speak, what words should I utter?
jYsy rwm nwm riv rhIAY ]1] rhwau ]
jaisae raam naam rav reheeai ||1|| rehaao ||
Speak such words, by which you may remain absorbed in the Name of the Lord. ||1||Pause||
sMqn isau boly aupkwrI ]
sa(n)than sio bolae oupakaaree ||
Speaking with the Saints, one becomes generous.
mUrK isau boly JK mwrI ]2]
moorakh sio bolae jhakh maaree ||2||
To speak with a fool is to babble uselessly. ||2||
bolq bolq bFih ibkwrw ]
bolath bolath badtehi bikaaraa ||
By speaking and only speaking, corruption only increases.
ibnu boly ikAw krih bIcwrw ]3]
bin bolae kiaa karehi beechaaraa ||3||
If I do not speak, what can the poor wretch do? ||3||
khu kbIr CUCw Gtu bolY ]
kahu kabeer shhooshhaa ghatt bolai ||
Says Kabeer, the empty pitcher makes noise,
BirAw hoie su kbhu n folY ]4]1]
bhariaa hoe s kabahu n ddolai ||4||1||
but that which is full makes no sound. ||4||1||
Re: How do deal with painful humans?
Posted by : Akaal Hi Akaal
Date: 8/02/2004 6:07 am
VJKK VJKFateh!
Start reading Chandi Di Vaar in the morning or even listen, before going to work, for me its such a blessing, as I can't describe what I get out of it. What you need is confidence, and some josh in you, don't worry about what they say or do, sometimes, if you laugh back at them, or even smile, they'll shut up..
Rather than keeping quiet you should show that you can hold your own as the daughter of badshah darvesh Guru Gobind Singh. Stick to the rules of Guru Nanak Dev maharaj, kirat karo, naam japo, vand ke chako.
Akaal Sahaee
VJKK VJKFateh!
