ARCHIVED FORUM: Gurdwara Tapoban Sahib
husband/wife
Posted by : confused
Date: 7/22/2004 1:30 am
Vaheguru Jee ka khalsa Vaheguru Jee kee fateh
In bani, there are many panktees about how we are all the"wives" and that Guru Sahib is our true "husband".
I have heard a view by a gursikh that Guru Sahib used this example over and over again because this is how wives should treat their husbands - with full loving devotion and pretty much be a slave to their husbands.
Now, I agree that their should be full respect by a wife to her husband (and vice versa!), but surely, the real love is to be only with Guru Sahib?
Are wives supposed to treat their husbads like God and do whatever they say no matter what their own personal views are? (just because of the fact that their husbands are men!)
Vaheguru jee ka khlasa Vaheguru jee kee fateh
Re: husband/wife
Posted by : no
Date: 7/22/2004 2:38 pm
No
I think its love for God
Women are not slaves to men
Re: husband/wife
Posted by : banta
Date: 7/22/2004 2:40 pm
It means women have to look at their husband like they do to God.
Re: husband/wife
Posted by : Singh
Date: 7/22/2004 3:34 pm
This didn't make sense to me for a long time as well. I heard this analogy but I also heard that a Singh/Singhnee are equal and for example, if both Singh and Singhnee work, both should share the workload at home etc.
But why focus so much on how the wife should serve her husband and give her full devotion and respect? Just like the analogy of the bhagat and Vahiguru. Wasn't this inequality?
I think I have the answer that most people ignore: If the bhagat has full devotion to Vahiguru and has dedicated his life, then is Vahiguru any less dedicated to the bhagat? If the Sikh obeys every command of Vahiguru, doesn't bani also tell us that whatever the Sikh wants Vahiguru also provides? Wherever there is a task that a Sikh is doing, Vahiguru himself comes and helps.
I think that's the part of the analogy we miss. The Singh, according to Gurmat, should have the full devotion and love of his wife. But at the same time, he too has to give unconditional love in return and actually want to help his wife and make her happy. The Singh's love should be absolutely no less and dedication no less than the Singhnee's. A Singh's happiness should be linked to seeing his Singhnee happy, just like Vahiguru is happy to see his bhagat happy.
I've worried about this for some time, that some young Singhs might hear the wife/bhagat analogy and be misguided to think that they can consider their wife a slave. It doesnt' work that way. If you like the analogy and think that your wife should have that kind of love and unconditional devotion to you, then make sure that you understand that you will have to give just as much love and respect back. Don't get me wrong. I believe that it IS acording to Gurmat for a wife to have that kind of devotion and it's a part of Sikhi. But I also believe that the husband needs to fulfil his part as well, which is also according to Gurmat.
Gurmat is about equality. We should never forget that or try to find exceptions to that rule.
Re: husband/wife
Posted by : bislily
Date: 7/22/2004 5:02 pm
i think this is a total misconception when people think that guru sahib is talking about the wife
to be honest... and frank... it's kind of a "recognize your place" call to the husband when in actually he isn't even MENTIONED in gurbani at all
because in gurbani the real husband is God
and so arrogant and abusive husbands are actually given the hand and told, "you know what, you're not a real man if you think men are higher - in that case we're all women and God is the real man"
we have to remember that guru sahib has said things about EVERYTHING
man / woman inequality
dowry
caste
guru sahib has clearly criticized these practices in many places
Re: husband/wife
Posted by : ki lena
Date: 7/23/2004 1:16 pm
check this same discussion here: http://www.akj.org/forum/read.php?f=3&i=19112&t=19112
Some going points made by Baljit Singh.
Re: husband/wife
Posted by : khalsa
Date: 7/23/2004 2:14 pm
I agree with "Singh". I never looked at the analogy that way.
If you really think about it, a relationship like that would be such an amazing one.
Re: husband/wife
Posted by : g
Date: 7/24/2004 3:28 pm
ive heard this before... can somone show where in Gurbani it says this?
Re: husband/wife
Posted by : P Singh
Date: 7/24/2004 3:50 pm
I think no matter if you are a man or women, your soul is looked as a bride of the Almighty.
Bhul Chuk Maaf but this is my understanding.
Re: husband/wife
Posted by : g
Date: 7/24/2004 7:35 pm
I have a question/comment... since once you get married your one light/soul in 2 bodies doesnt that mean its okay to be attached to your wife... because if your souls merge you will allways be together
Re: husband/wife
Posted by : kar kirpaa sabh rayN thheevaa
Date: 7/25/2004 11:07 am
i think this is a serious mistranslation that many people do in that pankiti.
the gurbani pankiti says one jyot, two moorats
one jyot means one light
two moorats means two bodies
If the gurbani pankiti had said one atma, two moorats
one atma would be mean one soul
But Guru jee has said one jyot
Same with the GUru Sahibaan
Guru Nanak Dev Jee was alive at the same time as Guru Angad Dev jee
But they were not one soul. They were one light.
Each body has an individual soul - an individual droplet. This is called the soul.
Then their is the clarity of the soul, the closeness to nirmal, closeness to absolute truth, the level of purity, the love for divinity, the approach to life, the central paradigm, the spiritual perspective. This is called the spirit or JYOT.
Your spirit is your "kalaa" or your inner art form. Your attitude, your person.
Guru Angad Dev Jee was the same inner person, the same light, the same jyot, the same as Guru Nanak Dev Jee.
The same is required for husband and wife - that you may have two bodies, and two souls, but the person is one. The attitude is one. Your kalaa is one. Your spirit is the same.
please forgive my mistakes - please correct me wherever I am wrong.
vaaaheguroojeekaakhaalsaaaaavaaheguroojeekeefatheh!!!!!!!
