ARCHIVED FORUM: Gurdwara Tapoban Sahib
A faulty problem
Posted by : Anon
Date: 7/13/2004 12:39 am
I know a friend who knows who she is going to get married to. Ie. it was planned that she would get married to this person. So if she knows who she is going to marry, is it still not wrong to hold feelings for that person, as we are trying to lead utmost gursikh lives?
Re: A faulty problem
Posted by : well
Date: 7/14/2004 1:53 am
huh... i know some people who, between their engagement and marraige, did not even so much as TALK
i don't know what is necessary in the situation but keep in mind guru jee and gurmat - that's the bottom line
Re: A faulty problem
Posted by : *
Date: 7/15/2004 9:08 am
The truth is that you never really KNOW who you'll marry until it actually HAPPENS, regardless of how much planning is done. We can plan and plan and plan, but Guru Sahib is the real planner and the supreme architect of our destiny, and Guru Sahib's plans don't necessary have to coincide with our own. Letting yourself develop feelings for the person you THINK you'll marry is wrong because you can't guarantee it'll actually happen in the end.
I know a bibi who has been engaged and nearly married numerous times but it has always broken off before the anand karaj for one reason or another. If she were to attach herself emotionally to each of those prospective spouses, it's sort of gross to have those kinds of feelings for so many different singhs until you actually MARRY one of them.
Developing feelings for anyone besides the person you're actually married to is really dangerous ground to tread and can lead to a slip up that could cost you your Sikhi.
